Missed Web free your inner fez

and here’s another moron

There's a lonely woman out there. A lonely, single, giant of a woman with nieces and or nephews who wants to find a steamy hot sex partner who is not afraid of tall aunts. This woman is doomed to be lonely. Why? Because the dumbass used my freaking email address.

AmateurMatch doesn't top Firm Hand Spanking, however. That's still tops on my wtf email list.

and now it’s just sad

JeffM from South Africa apparently is looking for work, and would like a cover letter written by someone to help him get the job:

here is the new passport no BN[redacted] work permit no SOW[redacted] expires
05/03/2013 and can u also make a cover letter

Poor guy, doesn't know how to spell "you" and whatever email address he was trying to reach. No wonder he needs someone else to write his cover letter for him!

at first it was funny, now it’s crossing the line

Apparently some lonely guy named Brian (not Xan's, I hope) enjoys watching naughty adult girls getting spanked, paddled, strapped and caned. How do I know this? Brian used my email address to subscribe to Firm Hand Spanking:

Brian, will you be able to masturbate without your naughty naughty adult women getting really hard spanky spanks? Will you be able to survive the holiday season? I worry for you, Brian, truly.

amused

Apparently there is a lonely, younger heterosexual woman in Davenport, a pisces, in fact, with an artistic tendency and dreams of being a STAR looking for a man who may find her of some interest. How do I know this? She subscribed to match.com, the dating service, and used my email address. Or someone just doesn't like me and wants me to be a midwesterner... or worse... NOT SINGLE!